Posts Tagged ‘disrespect’
Father’s Schmather’s day
Posted on: June 15, 2012
Dreading this weekend. Dreading “father’s day” hmmmph… he’s no father to these kids. He doesn’t want to be bothered with them 80% of the time and the other 20% he’s busy yelling at them. I’m all for providing structure and discipline to set examples for children, but he is overboard with it. They are just KIDS! They make mistakes, get over it. I try and stick up for them and remind him they are just kids, but then I’m told to shut the fuck up, and I’m called the enabler, etc.
So I get to play the nice wife all weekend. Okay, maybe not ALL weekend, but on Sunday at least. He already said he has no interest in leaving the house since it is going to be well over 100 degrees here. That’s fine with me. At least I don’t have to buy him dinner a restaurant! I am sure I will cook something. I already bought him cards from the kids. I’ll stop sometime Saturday and get him exactly what he got me, a $25 gift card for Itunes.
He will be shocked and disappointed since I ALWAYS give him waaaay more than he gives me for any occasion. (like the $1,000.00 trip to DallasI gave him for our 10th anniversary and I didn’t even get a fucking card!) But the days of spending money and effort on him are LONG gone. I’d rather spend money on my own one-way ticket to HELL then drop money on a gift for him.
I’ll try and see if I can spend some time with my own dad, although, he will likely be busy with his “other” family and I’m sure they already have plans together.
I have a headache just thinking about all the fakeness that will surround Father’s day. GAG!
The Outsider
Posted on: June 11, 2012
When I first started dating my husband 19 years ago, my best friend from junior high school hated him. I think it started out as jealousy that I was giving my attention to someone else and then it morphed into a complete personality clash. He didn’t like her, she didn’t like him and nothing was going to change that. She finally came to me and said that as long as I was with him she couldn’t be my friend. We went over ten years without speaking before rekindling our friendship after my mother passed away. We still aren’t super close, but we know what’s going on in each other’s lives. We are what I call “distant” friends. I will always be there if she needs me, but we aren’t super-involved.
I never understood their issues with one another. I couldn’t understand why two people who cared for me couldn’t just “get over it” and attempt to get along. I obviously chose my relationship and lost a friendship along the way, but am glad that it wasn’t a long term loss. I’ve never HATED the people my friends have dated, I have never disapproved. I just let them do their own thing and support them through the good and bad times.
Last year my bestie started dating someone. I didn’t necessarily care for the guy from the beginning because his name started with a capital D for DRAMA. I didn’t want to see my friend wrapped up in that shit after he had so many years invested into a “normal” relationship and had been living a “stable” life. Anyhow, I smiled and was supportive as a good friend should be.
The first time I met the guy they were both drunk and my bestie’s guy said some fucked up things to me. I was shocked and extremely angry and when I mentioned it to my bestie, he came to the guy’s defense. The snarky comments and the snub at the end of the night angered me and ruined my night and my mood. When they left, he hugged my girlfriend (who was a stranger to him) but not me. Snub duly noted.
My bestie and his guy say they don’t remember anything of what happened. Say they don’t remember what was said. Again, I kept my cool and just assumed that was true while firmly reminding my bestie I never once said anything inappropriate or rude to his guy.
Then, during one of their fights, his guy deleted me and my girlfriend on Facebook and blocked me. Once they made up, he added my girlfriend back but not me, and kept me blocked. Again, she is a STRANGER to him and has NO connection to him or my bestie. Snub duly noted again.
The next time I saw them together it was awkward again. It was obvious to me this guy doesn’t like me. I don’t know how someone could NOT like me as I am friendly, kind, caring and supportive. Whatever, his loss right? At the end of the lunch date, he hugged my girlfriend and not me. Ok, snub duly noted again.
I saw him over this past weekend. He hugs my girlfriend hello, but not me. Really, for a third time? I mention it to my bestie who tells me that it’s MY FAULT. Um, no it’s not. He says “its because of what you did last time” EXCUSE ME? What has this guy convinced my bestie happened? Because guess what, I have been sober during each and every one of these meetings and I KNOW what has happened.
I have smiled, bit my tongue and never once told this guy about himself. Never once. I have remained classy and supportive throughout all of it. And Saturday night he steps outside and refuses to come back in to make my friend leave. It was a DICK move. I see my bestie twice a year and I got all of 20 minutes with him? Yet, he is with him constantly? Thanks… thanks for the childish dick move and refusing to let me have time with my bestie.
I’d hate to think that this guy is going to come between me and my bestie, but I will not be snubbed when I have done NOTHING wrong and said NOTHING wrong to this guy. I will NOT let him paint me to be something I am not.
I now know what my friend was feeling 20 years ago, and why she walked away from our friendship. My friend’s inability to squash the childishness makes me cringe in anger and frustration. We are damn near 40 years old and I feel like I am in 10th grade.
I love my bestie with all of my heart. He is always there when I need him. He always listens and gives honest advice and opinions. The fact is, his guy makes things between us awkward. I can’t even plan time to spend with him at his house because I don’t want to be around the awkwardness, and if I was to plan time, his guy would find a way to rip my bestie away from me after 20 minutes.
I am so incredibly hurt that my bestie would insinuate that I did something wrong, that I am the cause. So hurt that he would make this MY fault instead of realizing this is all a result of his guy’s past behaviors. The fact that he would project it on to me HURTS. So perhaps “distant” friends is what we have to be.
I’d rather have no relationship than an awkward and fake one.
smrisme 